What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Which document should be pointed out to a holocaust denier?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

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In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Make Nazis afraid again!

What do you think are the real reasons Matt Gaetz just withdrew his name for Attorney General in the upcoming Trump administration?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Why do Brits drive a lot more dangerously compared to Americans? Is there just no courtesy when driving in the UK?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Was Jimmy Carter a good President of the United States?

TEXT:

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Do very hot men ever feel attracted to an ugly woman? Why?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

What is a good investment portfolio for someone starting in their 20s? 90% VT and 10% BND for a Roth IRA then 100% TDF for a 401k?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

How do you say "I don't speak French yet, but I hope to speak it well one day. It would be a pleasure to learn French with you. Would you like to teach me French?" in French? Could you add audio?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

I am glad you enjoyed my pictures. Do you have any photos to share?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

How did Madri, mother of Nakula and Sahadeva die?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...